How A Late-Diagnosed ADHDer Turned Their Insecurity Into Their Greatest Strength
A case study from the 'Turmoil to Trust' 6-month coaching programme. Quotes are taken directly from the clients feedback form.
The Starting Point: Caught Between Two Worlds
When this client first came to me, they were in that all-too-familiar ADHD limbo. As they put it:
“I felt inadequate at work, and unsure if I wanted to stay at my company, despite enjoying the company.”
"I was going through a hard time with insecurity and career, having recently learned about my late diagnosis of mixed-type ADHD. I felt inadequate at work, and unsure if I wanted to stay at my company, despite enjoying the company."
A common ADHD experience of "everyone else seems to have this figured out, what's wrong with me?"
They were stuck in what I call the ADHD Career Crossroads - that paralysing place after diagnosis, where you have this new found knowledge of yourself but you’re not quite sure what to do with it. Should you...
Force yourself to fit the traditional mould (even though it's never worked before)
Or leap into the unknown of something new like working for yourself
Sound familiar?
The Three Challenges That Were Keeping Them Stuck
Looking back, they identified three main challenges that were keeping them in that stuck place:
1. Analysis Paralysis
Every decision felt monumentally important. Perfectionism meets ADHD executive dysfunction causing overthinking and paralysis.
2. All-or-Nothing Career Thinking
"Deciding whether I should pivot to work for myself or stick it out at my company (all or nothing thinking)" - In their mind, there were only two options: stay forever or quit. The ADHD brain loves binary thinking, but it rarely reflects reality. This black-and-white approach was keeping them trapped.
3. Drowning in Other People's Opinions
"Learning how to trust myself in the sea of noises/opinions" - With ADHD, we're often hyperaware of how others perceive us. They couldn't hear their own voice above the chorus of "shoulds" and expectations from colleagues, family, and society.
How We Worked Through It
The Power of Validation Without Obligation
One of the first breakthroughs came from something quite simple. As they described it: "It was validating to hear from someone who had no obligation to be nice to me that I was good at something, and that my way was great, even if it was different from how everyone else did life."
This wasn't empty cheerleading. It was evidence-based recognition of their strengths that they'd come to feel were weaknesses.
“I learned to be more confident in myself when I seemed different from the typical mold of my peers in the same position”
Reframing "Different" as "Effective"
They explained how this shifted their perspective: "I learned to be more confident in myself when I seemed different from the typical mold of my peers in the same position (largely due to my ADHD and executive dysfunction). Instead of reinforcing the idea that I needed to be a square peg and force myself into a triangular hole, I gained more self-belief to keep doing what I'm doing."
We looked at:
How their conscientiousness and thoroughness led to quality work that added true value
How their questioning of "the way things are done" often uncovered inefficiencies others missed
Small Experiments Over Big Leaps
Rather than making dramatic career decisions, we designed small experiments. "This was largely due to seeing things from other perspectives and trying smaller experiments to test whether I was overthinking things or if there were more efficient ways to do things."
Could they take on projects that played to their strengths? Could they test their entrepreneurial ideas as side projects? Could they try doing something ‘faster’ and see whether that was actually better?
These experiments gave them data instead of anxiety.
The Transformation: From Frozen to Flowing
The changes didn't happen overnight, but when they did happen, they were significant:
Quick, Instinctive Decision-Making
Where they used to freeze under pressure, they now make decisions quickly and trust their instincts. They'd built up a bank of evidence that their way of approaching things works.
Embracing "Good Enough"
They stopped waiting for perfect solutions and started celebrating progress. This is HUGE for ADHDers who often struggle with perfectionism paralysis.
Evidence-Based Confidence
Instead of listening to the voices in their head telling them they weren't good enough, they started looking at actual results. Their work spoke for itself.
“It was fine to do things my way, and to use the results that happened as my evidence.”
The Biggest ‘aha!’ moment?
"It was fine to do things my way, and to use the results that happened as my evidence."
This realisation shifted everything. They stopped trying to prove they could do things like everyone else and started proving that their way worked just as well - often better.
What This Means for Other ADHDers
If you're reading this thinking "that sounds like me," here's what I want you to know:
Your ADHD brain isn't broken. It just processes the world differently. And often, that different processing leads to better solutions, more creative approaches, and more thorough results.
Small experiments beat big dramatic changes. You don't need to quit your job tomorrow to test whether you're cut out for something different. Start small, gather evidence, then decide.
Your way is valid. Stop trying to force yourself into neurotypical moulds. Instead, figure out how to optimise for your unique strengths and work style.
If you're struggling with similar challenges - feeling inadequate at work, paralysed by big decisions, or drowning in other people's expectations - know that transformation is possible.
Sometimes we just need someone to help us see our strengths clearly and trust our own way of doing things.
Ready to start your own journey from turmoil to trust? Let's chat about how coaching might help you too.